The Y10K Problem

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Scientific and Mathamatical Proof that “Batman Forever” Sucked.

In the climactic end sequence of ‘Batman Forever’, the evil Riddler drops a bound and gagged Robin and Dr. Chase Meridian into a long vertical shaft with spikey badness at the end.  Their certain doom is prevented by Batman, who dives into the abyss after them, snaring them right before hitting the bottom.

Several fun facts to keep in mind:

1. An average size/shape human falls to the earth at a rate of roughly 120 mph.  However, a trained skydiver may reach speeds between 180 and 200 mph by “diving” for maximum speed.  The maximum free fall speed (without the use of special equiptment) ever recorded was 321 mph.

2. The free fall sequence in Batman Forever lasts approximately 30 seconds.  The shaft would have to be a minimum of ONE MILE deep to allow for such a fall.  However, we clearly see Batman “diving”, so his speed would be much greater than the very minimum.  More likely the shaft would have to be between TWO AND THREE MILES deep.  Even after Batman saves Dr. Meridian and Robin, we see Two-Face fall a significant distance further.  Constructing such a pit of death would be a monumental undertaking, even for an evil genious.

3. The coup de grâce: to support the weight of two fully costumed super heroes, the Bat-cable used in the rescue would have to be roughly 1/8” steel (minimum).  One mile of such cable would weigh well over 500 pounds.  More than likely, Batman would have to have access to nearly a HALF-TON OF STEEL CABLE, capable of being launched vertically between TWO AND THREE MILES, while travelling at speeds of over TWO HUNDRED M.P.H. IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.  All this, mind you, from a device built into the bat-suit’s utility belt.  Quite a feat, Batman, quite a feat.

Still, this movie is 10x better than ‘Batman & Robin’.

batman

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